Is It the End of the Road for Otalia Posts?
Hola Otalians,
I have been writing about the Otalia pairing on Guiding Light since April 20, 2009. As many of you are aware, the weekly grind of cranking out Otalia posts have been pleasurably painful. Unfortunately, I have gotten to a point where I am considering one of three options:
- Continue writing about Otalia on a weekly basis as normal – This scenario is not likely.
- Write about Otalia occasionally, when there is something significant to write about – This scenario is possible and likely.
- Quit writing the Otalia posts forever – I have honestly leaned more towards this scenario as of late.
I thought I could write about Otalia to the very end, but for the past few weeks, I have had my doubts. Quite simply, I am tired and drained. As many of you are aware, my Otalia posts have become episodically longer every week. On average, the Otalia posts are 17 pages these days. That’s a lot of writing, but that part isn’t what’s the most time consuming. It’s the actual watching, re-watching, and analysis of the current week’s Otalia footage and past footage. These days, I end up spending more time studying archived footage of Otalia to conduct my weekly analysis. I have to baby step my way through new/archive footage sometimes to write the Otalia posts, which takes hours. This is one reason why my Otalia posts have been coming out on Sundays rather than Saturdays the past few weeks. I have a lot more stuff to watch than just the current week’s episodes. As many of you know, I come correct with my Otalia posts, or I don’t do it at all. There is no halfway with me when I write about Natalia Rivera (Jessica Leccia) and Olivia Spencer (Crystal Chappell).
I have lost sleep every Friday night to study footage and write the posts in marathon writing sessions through Saturday and lately, Sundays. I know many of you have been concerned about my lack of sleep to write the Otalia posts Friday nights. However, staying up all night isn’t the part of the process that is hardest for me. Before I ever started writing about Otalia, I typically stayed up all night on Friday. I was usually writing my novel(s), watching Fear Friday on AMC, or working on some web site project. Therefore, I have been accustomed to being up all night Friday. Nonetheless, I need a break…for a few weeks. I have been on this type of pacing for three months without fail. It hasn’t been easy. Writing the Otalia posts are mentally, physically, and even emotionally exhausting for me. I give so much of myself to write these posts the way that I do. I try to push myself to be better than I am each week. With the way things are, I am unsure if I can do that at the moment.
I have been very dedicated to bringing you the quality that you expect from my Otalia posts; however, I don’t want to give you (or myself) anything less than my best. Right now, I don’t feel like I can bring you that. While I don’t have to be inspired to write, it sure helps a lot. The current direction of the Otalia story is not inspiring to me. If anything, it concerns me. This “Frankenbaby” angle and associated angst is just absolutely illogical. I don’t want to waste my time writing about that right now. Considering how much time I spend writing these posts, I need to have my heart in it. My heart just isn’t in the Otalia posts the way that I need it to be at this moment. I don’t want to “fake it just to make it” to the September 18 finish line, which is when Guiding Light ends. You don’t deserve that, and I don’t either.
So…what does that mean for the Otalia posts? Right now, it means that I am on hiatus for a couple of weeks…at least until Jessica Leccia returns to my screen. I am weighing my options on what to do about my Otalia posts. At this moment, I am torn between continuing writing about Otalia on a limited (non-weekly) basis or quitting them for good. Again, I have to say that I am definitely leaning more towards quitting. However, I also have my days where I feel like continuing the Otalia posts on a limited basis. It’s on those days where I feel like I still have something to say about Otalia. I have been seesawing between both options on a daily basis. Ultimately, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I will take time during my hiatus to think about my options. Perhaps in a couple of weeks, I will find the fire, passion, and drive again. Or maybe I will know that it’s time to hang it up for good. I will say that if I decide to quit the Otalia posts, I want to go out on top. I would want to finish the Otalia Jessica Leccia Edition. As for the rumored Otalia Crystal Chappell Edition, that’s more of a maybe more so than a definite at this point. Nevertheless, I feel like I would like to do that one as well. While working on the Jessica Leccia post, I had already picked out some possible scenes to write about for the Otalia Crystal Chappell Edition. It’s up in the air, but at the very least, there would be the Otalia Jessica Leccia Edition.
For now, I’m just going to take a breather…and maybe sleep on Friday nights for a couple of weeks. I will still be watching Otalia on Guiding Light of course. I just want to make the right decision on what I want to do and really think it over the next few weeks. I hate this feeling of being torn regarding my Otalia posts. I think about what to do every day, several times a day. I feel like I have really crafted something magical with my Otalia posts, and I’d hate to give that up. On the other hand, I have other writing projects – novels, a series I’m developing with my brother, etc. – tugging for my attention. I am definitely torn in my own creative tug of war, and there is only one of me. I just need time to pull back and think, so that’s what I will be doing.
I want to say thank you to everyone for all of the support, feedback, comments, tweets, and emails you have left me over the past three months. It is truly heartwarming to have my work appreciated. I really, really bust my butt to write these posts (and other stuff here). After so many years of being “undiscovered,” it is extremely pleasant and humbling to have a large audience…at last! You have no idea how many years I have toiled (mostly in secret) and worked so hard to perfect my writing. It’s one thing to feel like you’re good at what you do, but it’s another story to hear that constant feedback from my readers. You guys rock, and I appreciate all of you. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart.
You will know if I’m back or not via a blog post here within a couple of weeks. For now, I’m on vacation, and I’m gone fishin’.
Sincerely,
SJD (aka The Hive Mind)
Tags: crystal chappell, entertainment, guiding light, jessica leccia, natalia, olivia, otalia, review, tv
July 26th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I have enjoyed reading your Otalia posts for some time. I could see the amount of time and effort you have put into it. I don’t know how you could function on the weekends doing all that. I appreciate what you have brought to us with your work.
As of late I have seen your perspective change for the story. I think most of us are not happy with the story and we’ve all dealt with it in different ways. While I don’t agree with the your recent perspectives, we all have a right to take it as we need to. Overall, I believe if you are not happy with writing about Otalia then find something you are happy writing for. Be proud of what you produced and lend your talent to something you feel passionate about. I surely do hope you do finish the Jessica post as she is a lovely lady and a growing actress. She deserves all the attention she can get. Jessica fans also need some positive things for them and this would be nice.
Regardless of what you decide, again thanks for your lovely writing and much luck in what you do in the future
July 26th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Ali,
Thank you for your words.
Yes, my perspective has definitely changed regarding Otalia. Like you said, we deal with it in different ways. What’s lovely is that we can agree to disagree about perspective on Otalia and still respect each other. I really love that about the readers who read my Otalia posts. It’s just nice to have an intelligent conversation without the mud slinging on who’s right or wrong about Otalia. It isn’t about who’s right or wrong because that really doesn’t matter. Ultimately, everyone is going to have their own point of view on what’s happened to Otalia, which absolutely cool with me. I respect other people’s opinions on this story line, whether you agree with me or not.
I definitely would want to honor Jessica Leccia with my special edition post. She deserves it. I have seen her grow so much. I have it in me to do that much at least
July 26th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
I share your ambivilance about the current direction of Otalia. How dejected I feel seems to ebb and flow a bit, day to day. I’ve put this much time in, though, I know I will follow through and watch it to the (hopefully not) bitter end, if only to honor the amazing sweat and craft that CC and JL put into it. TPTB may have fumbled the ball, but those 2 have never flagged. I’m sure the show ending altogether makes that an easier call for me.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand your having to back off putting more of your own energy, creative and otherwise, into it further. We’ve appreciated your thoughtful, considered opinions and takes on this storyline. I thank you for all the effort and heart you put into it.
I know you’ll find something else to write about that will give you some joy again, and I look forward to seeing it.
And yes, another vote here, hoping you finish your special JL project (and of course, CC’s too, if ya got it in you).
Good luck and good wishes!
July 28th, 2009 at 1:41 am
I do empathize with your feelings towards Otalia at the moment. To be swiftly drawn in the Otalia vortex and then experience such high only to feel the rug pulled under your feet after a few months is at the least quite draining. There were so much expectation and trust bestowed upon those responsible for the storyline that the turn of events left me and I’m sure a lot of others feeling like a fool. I’ll be watching until the end only because of CC and JL. I’ve been completely captured by the characters they’ve put to life, their amazing talent, and the rare and mesmerizing chemistry that they have.
I truly appreciate and enjoy your write-ups. Each one of them showed the care and the effort you’ve invested in writing it because they came out so personal. I still want to read your JL and CC special edition whenever you finish it. Maybe the Otalia muse will once again strike when JL comes back. For now, good luck to whatever you eventually decide. Thank you and take care!
July 28th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Carol,
I, too, am tuned in still to watch JL and CC. I definitely appreciate their hard work and effort they have put into the Natalia and Olivia characters. Like you said, TPTB fumbled, but JL and CC definitely hasn’t. They are just the actors and yes, aren’t responsible for the downward spiral that the Frankenbaby angle has caused.
Thank you for your comments about my writing. I guess I shall see what path I shall take in a couple of weeks. No matter what, there will still be the Otalia JL Edition and…I hope the Otalia CC Edition
July 28th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Chet,
Like you, I was definitely drawn into the Otalia vortex, but part of me always was waiting for the other shoe to drop…or like Olivia, for the other brick to hit me in the head. As you’re probably aware, I’m a jaded soap fan, and I don’t “believe” that TPTB will do right by us soap fans and their shows. I’m not surprised what has happened to Otalia. However, after such beautiful storytelling, I had a small flame of hope that Otalia wouldn’t befall what happens to other soap couples these days, especially since GL is ending. The fact that it has fallen apart (at this point of the story line) is disappointing, mainly because the writing for Otalia was told so carefully. Also, it helped that I had begun to distance myself from Otalia after CC announced she was going to Days of Our Lives. For me, I don’t feel foolish because part of me always expected something to derail the story line. Unfortunately, I’m just that jaded, so I don’t have much faith in head writers and soap execs. As I have always said, with JLH and EW, I had the faith of a mustard seed. I feel for any fan who had complete or blind faith because they are the ones who are probably most upset.
Like you, I am sticking with Otalia at this point because of JL and CC. They have never faltered. They are beautiful, wonderful actresses, and I truly appreciate all of their hard work. I have loads of respect for JL and CC with what they have done. I personally can’t wait to see what they have in store for us for the Venice web series.
Thank you for enjoying my Otalia pieces. As for the Otalia JL and CC Editions…well, there will definitely be the the JL one. Still a bit iffy on the CC one, but I really would like to do one for her as well.
Perhaps my muse will return when JL comes back. After watching the show the past couple of weeks, I have realized how much I have missed JL on my screen. I can’t wait for her to come back. When she does, I hope she comes back as “my Natalia” and not “fembot Natalia.” I shall wait and see. I will really make my final decision on the Otalia posts after I see JL back.
May 19th, 2010 at 9:45 am
I share your ambivilance about the current direction of Otalia. How dejected I feel seems to ebb and flow a bit, day to day. I’ve put this much time in, though, I know I will follow through and watch it to the (hopefully not) bitter end, if only to honor the amazing sweat and craft that CC and JL put into it. TPTB may have fumbled the ball, but those 2 have never flagged. I’m sure the show ending altogether makes that an easier call for me.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand your having to back off putting more of your own energy, creative and otherwise, into it further. We’ve appreciated your thoughtful, considered opinions and takes on this storyline. I thank you for all the effort and heart you put into it.
I know you’ll find something else to write about that will give you some joy again, and I look forward to seeing it.
And yes, another vote here, hoping you finish your special JL project (and of course, CC’s too, if ya got it in you).
Good luck and good wishes!