The Otalia scenes for the week of May 18 made me ache but in the most pleasurable of ways. Smiling is an unintended side effect whenever I watch Otalia on Guiding Light, but this week, I think I broke a new record for Otalia-related smiles.

“Happiness pulses with every beat of my heart.” ~Emily Logan Decens

As I watched Olivia scurry down the sidewalk to Natalia’s front door on the May 19 episode, it reminded me of how I feel when I come home to Guiding Light. Just like Olivia, I am anxious to return to my newfound love. I don’t perform a quick breath check when I come home to my sweetheart though (aka the Guiding Light). That quick two-second scene was hysterical yet true to life, especially when you’re starting a new relationship. You want to make sure you look good (and smell good) – something I’m sure Olivia and Natalia are thinking about based on the past few weeks. The happy anxiousness on Olivia’s face as she knocked on the door showed me just how much she missed Natalia while she was away. To me, Olivia’s face conveyed a “can’t wait to see my baby” expression as she all but barged her way inside the farmhouse. I then watched as that happy anxiousness transformed into joyful relief as Olivia and Natalia clinched each other – as if they’ve been a part for months rather than days.

When I saw Olivia and Natalia hug each other in the way they did, I had another one of those jaw-dropping moments that often occurs with this story line. The naturalness and ease of how Olivia and Natalia clinched each other showed more progression in their comfort level as a potential couple. They’ve hugged each other numerous times over the past several months but not in a romantic way. In fact, what Olivia and Natalia did wasn’t a hug. Their embrace was passionate, and they showed me through their body language these two are head over heels in love. When they pulled away from each other, I noticed the loving and glowing smiles Olivia and Natalia gave each other. I also noticed a moment where I felt Olivia wanted to kiss Natalia. Instead, Olivia held herself in check, caught her breath, and got past that moment by asking about Emma.

While they discussed Emma’s desire to stay at the farmhouse, I was stunned (and smiling) at the searing radiance of love between Olivia and Natalia. I have watched soap operas since I was toddler, and I don’t think I have ever seen such a convincing display of love and affection between characters. Once again, I could hear just how deeply Olivia and Natalia feel for each other in the way spoke. I see and hear bubbling happiness with these two characters, which is very understandable at this stage of their relationship. After burying their feelings for so many months, Olivia and Natalia are letting everything they feel surface in the most gorgeous way. As I would later find out, this beautiful display of love and affection would only escalate.

It wasn’t surprising to me that Olivia shared Emma’s desire to move back to the farmhouse. The farmhouse was Olivia and Emma’s true home, and the life they had with Natalia was harmonized perfection. Even though Natalia agreed their life together at the farmhouse was everything to her, I understood her hesitance. In last week’s post, I mentioned that Buzz’s advice (for Natalia) to think before she jumps in would be prophetic for her relationship with Olivia. I was right. I knew the second Olivia mentioned moving back in that Natalia wasn’t going to move too fast. I could see the uncertainty and cautiousness in Natalia’s expression, and I realized she was thinking about Buzz’s advice. Natalia was right when she told Olivia that things are different between them. Aside from having to explain their romantic relationship to their children, one particular factor remained unsaid – which involved those “million different things” Natalia referenced.

“One (of the) Million Different Things”

“Come let me gaze into your eyes, to the depths of your soul. Become mine and let me be yours, our souls entwining, becoming one, for today…tomorrow…eternity…” ~ Unknown

I felt Natalia isn’t quite ready to be in such intimate and loving captivity with Olivia on a daily basis. They are both sexually aware of each other now. I’ve already seen what sexual frustration can do with these two, and I also saw how it made them go at each other, which made them say things they didn’t mean. While they are very at ease with each other now, I think Natalia was considering the sexual aspect of their relationship when they discussed moving in together. Natalia was definitely tempted to surrender to Olivia the week of April 20 from the way her gaze fell on the hotel bed. It’s easy to see that Natalia’s sexual appeal clouds Olivia’s mind because she wears it on her face. Natalia is playing this aspect on a subtle level, but she is aware of Olivia’s sexual appeal – especially when Olivia shoots one of those fiery glances in her direction. Olivia’s smoldering heat is scorching Natalia, which is why she often looks away. I believe Natalia is a far more innocent person in terms of sexuality, and I feel like she’s still trying to grow comfortable with her sexual awareness of Olivia. Considering what I’ve observed with Natalia, she would want to keep a level head without having the definition of temptation living at the farmhouse.

“Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

I think Natalia is right to be cautious about taking it easy and not rushing in too soon. If they move too fast by moving in together, Emma would get hurt if things don’t work out. However, I had to agree with Olivia’s counter argument when she said they do work. Natalia and Olivia work together extremely well in every aspect of their lives. I believe Natalia’s words were spoken out of some fear, but I also think she was considering the impact to Emma. While Olivia agreed about Emma’s feelings, she wasn’t handling the idea of living apart from Natalia too well. I think Olivia just wants to be around the core of her newfound happiness all the time. Natalia makes her glow from the inside out. Considering the object of Olivia’s affection is Natalia Rivera, I can’t say I’d blame her when she continued pleading her case.

I loved how Olivia laid out how Natalia has taken risks with her choices for the past several months. I really think being in Olivia’s orbit has drawn out the risk-taker side of Natalia. While each risky choice had some fallout, they turned out to be the right choices for Natalia. She truly is braver than she realizes, and I love how she continues to step outside the safe circle she has drawn around herself.

“The road to true love was never easy, I know I’ve hit all the bumps, but now I’m standing strong saying, I love you, ’til the end of time.” ~ Unknown

When Natalia told Olivia that she took the biggest chance of her life by admitting her love, I felt the truth in her words. Natalia stepped away from the safety net of her black and white world by jumping into a vibrant, loving world filled with Technicolor. She risked everything she believed in for a chance at true love with Olivia. It was wonderful to hear that Natalia had no regrets when she admitted her love for Olivia. I remember how skittish Natalia was right after the Otalia love confession, and I am so relieved to know she hasn’t regretted her decision. I watched Olivia’s reaction as she scooted closer to Natalia on the sofa, and I found that I was wearing a huge grin on my face. Other than just wanting to be closer to the one she loves, Olivia just loves hearing Natalia say these words to her: “I love you.” I believe it’s because she never thought Natalia would say them, so Olivia enjoys the experience of hearing those words as much as she can. After going through months where I was mostly unsure how Natalia felt, I am delighted every time I hear her say, “I love you,” too.

I also found myself beaming with pride when Natalia mirrored Olivia’s actions by moving closer to her on the sofa. I didn’t expect that from Natalia, but I’m glad she did it. It showed me that she is willing to meet every one of Olivia’s couple-like gestures with her own. As they moved in to embrace each other, I was the one who caught my breath this time.

Olivia was aiming for Natalia’s lips again. I feel 100% certain of that, but for whatever reason, she changed her mind at the last second and strayed off course. Was I disappointed? Yes and no. Like many fans, I have been waiting for Olivia and Natalia’s first mutual kiss. As I have watched this story line unfold, I felt that the writers have been absolutely right in making us wait for the first mutual kiss. In a soap world where people kiss, fall into bed, and become engaged in two months, it is extremely refreshing to watch a slow romance filled with loving touches and flirtatious behavior. In fact, Otalia’s slow approach towards a buildup has been a breath of fresh air in the polluted world known as soaps. I want to watch them just be affectionate in the way they look at and touch each other. I don’t see that side of a couple with soaps anymore. I love getting this aspect of romance in my soaps and not just the kissing and lovemaking.

Since I have been watching, I thought the couch scene on the May 19 episode was the first time that felt right for Otalia’s mutual kiss. However, in a way, I’m glad it didn’t happen yet. Natalia and Olivia are still getting use to being with each other in this new way. They must crawl before they can walk as a couple. As a fan, I’m enjoying the crawling phase of this relationship. These tender moments that Otalia have are blissful experiences that won’t have the same significance once the kiss happens. Therefore, I’m just soaking it in and loving it.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu

After Olivia left to handle a matter concerning Edmond’s death, Father Ray visited Natalia. I knew exactly what was coming at this point, and I must admit I was anticipating how this aspect of the Otalia story line would be handled. I was worried that Father Ray would come down on Natalia’s choice and make her take four steps back (rather than two) with Olivia by using scripture and church doctrine. I wondered if Natalia would be able to hold firm in her convictions, and I saw for myself just how strong Natalia has become.

When Father Ray questioned Natalia if someone else was in her life, I got a bit nervous. I wasn’t surprised that she admitted she had feelings for another person. Natalia wouldn’t be admitting much of anything to Father Ray by revealing that much. She wouldn’t have to reveal a name. However, I was astonished that Natalia admitted that it was Olivia so freely – after giving it away by looking at Olivia’s picture first. Father Ray’s reaction to that other person being Olivia was better than I expected, and I let out a slightly relieved breath. While he did use scripture to convince her what she felt was a sin, I was so proud of Natalia for not backing down. She vigorously defended her feelings (in her Natalia-like way) for Olivia and refused to let Father Ray change her mind. I agreed that Natalia is the same person, no matter who she loves. When Father Ray challenged Natalia by saying that she isn’t following all of the teachings in the Bible, I shook my head at this one and sighed. I’m about to get personal for a moment because I feel I have to be right now. I want you to understand where I’m coming from on this issue.

I am a Christian who believes in God and tries to practice the “What would Jesus do?” principle in my everyday life. I do not attend institutionalized churches anymore because of corruption and other bad things I saw in the church. The last time I went to an institutionalized church, the minister slammed gays and lesbians in a way that completely turned me off from attending again. It troubled my spirit to hear the things this minister hurled at the LGBT community. For me, it goes against the “What would Jesus do?” principle because Jesus would not say the terrible things I heard in that sermon. It also troubled me because some people in the church are the worst sinners. Believe me, I know. Yes, I realize everyone sins, but the hypocrisy in the church was too much for me. It is why I practice my faith on my own.

When looking at my own experiences, I found it ironic that Father Ray told Natalia she does not believe in all of God’s teachings. Tell me this: what Christian follows the Bible’s teachings to the exact letter of His word? No one is perfect; I know I’m not. I don’t see heterosexual Christians getting the same grief that Christians – who happen to be homosexual – get when they don’t follow all of His teachings. The Bible says that no one sin is greater than another. If being gay or lesbian is a sin (I don’t think it is), then a sin like bearing false witness against thy neighbor (aka lying) is the same.

Natalia’s determination to stick with her convictions impressed me on so many levels. I wanted to give her a hug for standing up for what she believed in – her faith and her love for Olivia. I agreed wholeheartedly when she quoted scripture (Thessalonians 5:21) back to Father Ray by saying: “Test all things and hold fast to that which is good.” I do believe that love is good, no matter whom that other person is. Natalia is living that particular scripture when it comes to Olivia, and it endeared her to me even more. She showed me so much gentle strength in her scenes with Father Ray, and I could see that some of Olivia’s strength has rubbed off on her. Again, I am noticing the yin yang aspect of this relationship, and I’m thrilled to see Natalia using it to make it through her personal spiritual battleground.

“I love you not only for who you are, but for what you are making of me.” ~ Unknown

While Natalia was conversing with Father Ray, Olivia was visiting Jeffery. I found the idea of Olivia warning Jeffery that she saw Reva with Edmund (before he died) unexpected. I am aware that Jeffery raped Olivia as a teenager, which resulted in Ava’s birth. I’m also aware that Olivia has given him a hard time and rightly so. Nevertheless, I felt she shouldn’t have cared what happened to Jeffery’s life – assuming Reva is Edmund’s killer. Fortunately, Olivia is involved with a brown-eyed, dimpled angel who makes her see the good in herself and act on it.

As Olivia spoke with Jeffery about the life he has with Reva, I felt she was also speaking about her life with Natalia. Olivia knows that she has a good thing with Natalia, and she appreciates and values it. I believe if circumstances were reversed, Olivia would want Jeffery to warn her if Natalia was involved in something that could rip their lives a part. Nonetheless, I just find Natalia’s effect on Olivia spectacular to watch and it often stuns me. Every week, I get a newer, gentler, and kinder Olivia, and that’s because of one person – Natalia Rivera.

When Olivia told Jeffery that she had a shot at love, I had another one of those, “What is Natalia doing to Olivia?” moments. I get the feeling that Olivia has never had a problem with confidence and getting the prize (the man) based on what I’ve seen in the past. With Natalia, it is different. I am seeing an Olivia that is not just vulnerable but has shaky confidence as well. In fact, I will go ahead and state the obvious: Olivia is straight up “purple whipped” when it comes to Natalia.

I started thinking about her scenes with Jeffery and wondered if the Olivia I’m seeing is the real Olivia Spencer now. Natalia has the ability to make Olivia drop the “take no prisoners” facade and be real with her. Now that Olivia is shedding some of her armor, I feel like I’m seeing the “human” side of her that’s just like everyone else, and I must say, I love this side of Olivia. Watching Olivia have shaky confidence makes me feel drawn to her character in a completely new way, and I absolutely love the continuing evolution of her character.

“I wish that you were here or that I were there, or that we were together anywhere!” ~ Unknown

After Olivia returned to the farmhouse, Natalia told her that she had confided in Father Ray about their relationship. I noticed the amazement in Olivia’s eyes and heard the surprised hesitation in her response. I believe Olivia didn’t expect Natalia to confide in Father Ray about them, and it caught her off guard. I noticed Olivia started to prepare herself for a letdown from that point forward. I watched her face reflect the wariness and nervousness she was feeling. When Natalia confirmed that she didn’t want Olivia to move in, I watched that wariness and nervousness transition into disappointment, fear, and sadness. Olivia was disappointed because she wouldn’t be able to move back into the farmhouse. She feared that Natalia had changed her mind about her feelings, and she felt sadness because of her disappointment and fear. When Natalia explained that moving in with each other would be a big step and that it would be the same if it were anyone else, I believed her. I really don’t think she’s treating Olivia differently. I just think Natalia is heeding Buzz’s advice from the May 12 episode – think before you jump in next time.

“You are the light in a dark room and I am the moth who can’t resist it.” ~N.

The Otalia story line has been a marathon race rather than a 100-meter dash. As a spectator, I have enjoyed each stride around the track. When I viewed the May 20 episode, it was extremely heartwarming and fun to watch Otalia pick up the flirting baton and run with it.

On Your Marks!

When I saw Olivia gently stroke Natalia’s face outside the hotel room, I could hear the thuds of Otalia fans around the world. If acting “normal” is caressing Natalia’s face the way a potential lover would, then I would like to see what the opposite of normal is! I couldn’t believe my eyes at that display of affection. It wasn’t so much Olivia’s boldness that startled me, but it was Natalia’s ease, acceptance, and flirtatious response from Olivia’s touch. I found myself laughing aloud again when Olivia played off the “you’ve got a bit of lunch” on your face bit when someone passed by them.

Set!

Olivia definitely set up Natalia by pretending she couldn’t find a spreadsheet to reel Natalia by her side. Natalia’s cute nudge against Olivia made me smile again. When Olivia gave her that “God, I love you, I want you, and I got you where I want you!” stare, that permanent smile on my face transformed into a huge grin. Even more dazzling to me was Natalia’s flirtatious response in her smile, words, and the tenderness of her voice when speaking to Olivia. I had another moment in this scene where I thought Olivia was about to capture Natalia’s lips again…until they were interrupted.

Runners, Stay in Your Lane!

When the banquet manager interrupted Olivia and Natalia’s flirtatious moment, I found myself chuckling at Olivia’s “hand in the cookie jar” response. Natalia played it off cooler, but I think that’s because Olivia was running a little hot under her pink collar.

As the banquet manager explained that they had a double booking, I found Natalia’s facial expressions to be perfect during this scene. I read each and every thing Natalia was thinking without words, which is something I truly love with Jessica Leccia’s acting. When Olivia was ramping up to clean the meat from the banquet manager’s bones and Natalia confessed it was her mistake, I laughed again. Olivia’s calmer “It happens” response towards Natalia made me re-affirm my feelings that she is “purple whipped.” It’s very evident that Olivia has a clear bias towards Natalia now. As a result, I expected Natalia’s request to Olivia that she receive no special treatment. She wouldn’t want special treatment…unless it’s outside of work.

Fire the Starter’s Gun! Now…Run, Otalia, Run!

When Olivia and Natalia made their sneaky getaway to the park, they discussed the extra precautions they were taking to avoid alerting others. I understand them wanting to keep their relationship low profile right now because they are still figuring things out. However, I could also see Olivia’s point when she asked why they should be so afraid to hide their feelings from others. They love each other, and I could see why Olivia would want everyone to know, despite her fears of how people will accept them. Natalia chose her despite the collateral damage it caused. I feel Olivia would want people to know how special Natalia is to her.

Even though Natalia expressed that she was afraid of everything, I think she is not as afraid as she thinks she is. I recalled the courage she had when she told Doris and Father Ray about her relationship with Olivia. As Natalia tells more people, she is growing stronger and more confident about herself and her feelings. I truly believe her love for Olivia is giving her that strength and confidence.

Contrarily, hearing Olivia express that she was scared was a revelation for me. This scene represented another moment for me where I feel like I am seeing the real Olivia – without any masks. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean that “old” Olivia is gone. When she slid closer and cuddled up to Natalia on the park bench, I think my eyes were ready to pop out of their sockets from shock. I definitely didn’t see it coming. I could say the same for Natalia’s reaction when she accepted Olivia’s closeness with ease and pleasure. To say that these two are extremely comfortable with each other now is an understatement.

“Laughter is the best medicine of the heart.” ~ Unknown

The impromptu picnic between Olivia and Natalia was one of the highlights of the May 20 episode. After enduring so much angst, it was nice to hear a joyful noise in the form of laughter with Otalia. While they were trying to gather up items for their picnic, I felt this is the happiest I have ever seen Otalia. I was laughing with them during these scenes because I was happy that they were happy.

When I re-watched the picnic scene, I felt like Jessica Leccia (Natalia) and Crystal Chappell (Olivia) broke out of character a bit but in a very nice way. I’m referring specifically to when they were laughing with each other. I felt the genuine fondness that they have for each other off camera shined through during the picnic scenes. I don’t think they were just acting when laughing at each other’s jokes about their “sad little picnic.” I really feel like these two women are friends with each other in real life. I love spotting moments like this because I’m aware not all actors are friendly with each other off camera. That clearly isn’t the case with Jessica Leccia and Crystal Chappell, and for me, this was definitely my highlight of the week. I love when these kinds of moments slip through when I watch actors.

Just when the Otalia picnic was getting started, the buzz killing, guilt-tripper known as Frank Cooper arrived. When Frank appeared out of nowhere, I wanted throw my remote at him through the TV…right in the middle of his head. Frank has the ability to eclipse things between Olivia and Natalia – which is his job by the way – and, I watched the happy mood evaporate. As Frank delivered the news about Rafe’s hearing and Natalia thanked him, I could have done without his “wrong path” comment. He wasn’t referring to Rafe, either, which Natalia picked up on when I watched her reaction. I grew a little concerned that the light heartedness between Olivia and Natalia was over for the day; however, I was wrong. To my surprise, Natalia “kicked that dirt off her shoulders” and picked right up where she left off…at least for a little while.

In the last Otalia scene for the week, the reality of Rafe’s homecoming started to set in for Natalia. While she is obviously happy, Natalia realized that she is going to have to confront the most important person of all about Olivia – her son. I just hope Natalia is able to find that same strength she had in the May 19 episode when she finally tells Rafe. With all of the wonderful progress made between Olivia and Natalia, I’d hate to see them back slide.

“Missing you is like being lost in a black and white world; everything seems so faded and lonely.” ~ Unknown

Obviously, Olivia had her own concerns about Rafe’s homecoming in the May 22 episode. It seems Olivia is concerned that things would change or possibly reset itself with Natalia. Nevertheless, Olivia had Natalia’s best interests in heart when she asked Jeffery to speak on Rafe’s behalf (at the hearing). No matter what, she just wants Natalia to be happy, even if that means Rafe’s reaction affects their romantic relationship. Once more, this is another moment where I watched Olivia put someone else’s wants and needs above her own. Only true love can make a person that selfless. Still, I am glad to see that Olivia is going to fight to keep that love now that she has it.

Olivia’s phone call to Natalia made me feel encouraged and for the millionth time this week, made me smile. I’m well aware that Natalia is very important to her, that she would do anything for her, and that she wants what she has with Natalia. This particular scene also made me smile for two reasons:

• It was very tender, touching, and heartfelt. I felt Olivia meant everything she said – from the bottom of her heart. It was a short scene, but I adored every moment of it.
• The phone call scene was a throwback to the May 12 episode where Natalia called Olivia and needed her strength. I loved the tie in from last week’s episode by having Natalia and Olivia do the same scene but in different ways.

“No one realizes the beauty of love, until you’re caught in it.” ~ Unknown

I would like to recognize Jessica Leccia and Crystal Chappell’s performances for the week of May 18 by giving them a standing ovation (with my words of praise). While I enjoy their performances every week, this week was a particularly breathtaking experience as a viewer. When I watch these two lovely actresses, I feel that they are in this story line with 150% commitment. I can tell when actors are “phoning it in,” and that is absolutely not the case here. As I watch them together, my love for their work grows with each passing week. I can say beyond any shadow of doubt that Leccia and Chappell are my two favorite actresses – in daytime and primetime…period. Nothing compares to what I see with their performances when I watch. I am breathless, awed, amazed, and filled with “punch drunk love” with their performances. I was enthralled with every scene the week of May 18. On a serious note, I was so dazed by Leccia and Chappell’s brilliance that I watched the Otalia Guiding Light episodes standing on my feet…the entire 44 minutes. It was just that good. I suppose I was frozen by their intensity, and I could not sit down until I finished the Otalia journey for the day. This week’s episodes were so good that I watched far more Otalia footage than usual. It took me longer to get started on this week’s Otalia post because they captured and imprisoned me with their performances again. What can I say but this – I truly appreciate beautiful acting. It gets to me and touches me every single time. Leccia and Chappell are delivering stunningly beautiful performances. To the dynamic acting duo, I would like to say that peanut butter and banana sandwiches are on me if I’m ever in Peapack, New Jersey.

Note: If you comment and choose to leave a spoiler, please identify it in advance with the word “spoiler,” or even separate it out to alert me that a spoiler is coming. I read everyone’s comments, but if I see the word “spoiler,” I stop reading at that point. Again, I have my process to make the magic happen with these Otalia posts. Thanks everyone for your continued love and support!

Tags: crystal chappell, entertainment, guiding light, jessica leccia, lesbian, natalia, olivia, otalia, review, tv

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 23rd, 2009 at 7:20 pm and is filed under Commentary, Life, Play, Reviews. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.