The week of May 4 was an interesting roller coaster ride for Otalia. I was “buckled up” in my roller coaster harness, and I was ready for the twists, turns, loops, joy, thrills, and fear that Guiding Light would offer me with my favorite couple. I’m glad I was ready because the week of May 4 was everything a roller coaster ride should be.

After watching the Guiding Light episodes for the week of April 27, I knew that Olivia and Natalia would finally have a confrontation with Frank Cooper this week. Once Frank was alone with Olivia in the hospital room, he made it clear who was responsible for his aborted wedding to Natalia. Basing his assessment on Olivia’s past behavior, I found it completely believable for Frank to think she stole Natalia away from him, that she’d clouded Natalia’s mind with her sensuality. Unfortunately, Frank’s mind is clouded with pain right now because he’s hurt, and he’s been emasculated over Natalia’ and Olivia’s betrayal. At the moment, all Frank can see is the “bad Olivia” and not the person she has become. Even he acknowledged in past episodes that Natalia had a good effect on Olivia and that the lifestyle at the farmhouse had changed her. Olivia has become selfless, and Frank just doesn’t realize how much she was willing to give up just for Natalia’s happiness. Even though his “just like Olivia” point of view is understandable, it bothers me that Frank thinks so badly of Olivia. After all, she is 100% responsible for any successes he’s had with Natalia. Lest we forget, it was Olivia who clued him in on Natalia’s needs and desires since late 2008. Moreover, to be quite “frank,” he wouldn’t have ever gotten any of Natalia’s goodies if it weren’t for Olivia. I am positive that Natalia slept with Frank to prove her growing feelings for Olivia weren’t real. Olivia has been nurturing his courtship with Natalia from beginning to end, and he wouldn’t have ever made it anywhere, much less to the alter without her. Even when Natalia became a runaway bride, Olivia still encouraged the marriage. Regardless of what he did and didn’t know about Olivia’s role, Frank was on a one-way path. Everything was Olivia’s fault, and Natalia was just another one of her victims. That’s why I was relieved when Natalia walked in on their conversation and stopped him because I was getting angrier with Frank to the point of disgust.

I felt Natalia’s explanation to Frank where she revealed why she couldn’t marry him was past due. However, I have to look at the special circumstances around her situation, especially after re-watching the May 4 episode and past episodes. Natalia had a difficult time acknowledging her feelings for Olivia to herself, and she just acknowledged those feelings to Olivia. She’s still in the process of reconciling her feelings for Olivia with her religious views. Then there’s her son, Rafe, who is still clueless about her feelings. I’m sure Rafe’s reaction is weighing in the back of Natalia’s mind, just as I’m sure she’s still trying to figure out how to tell him. Having to acknowledge those feelings to Frank would cause her yet another dilemma. This is Natalia’s first time discussing her feelings to someone other herself, God, and Olivia. I put myself in Natalia’s shoes by looking at it from her point of view. Once I did, I understood why having that conversation with Frank was something she’d want to put off for as long as she could. Considering everything she’s dealing with, I was glad that Natalia accepted her share of the blame in hurting Frank and breaking off their engagement. Even though I felt Olivia would have gladly accepted the blame to protect Natalia, I was happy that Natalia was finally honest. When Natalia told Frank that what she felt for Olivia wasn’t harmful or sinful, I watched the expression on Olivia’s face. I’m quite sure that Olivia has been called harmful and sinful since she landed in Springfield. I truly believe that Olivia fell deeper in love with Natalia at that moment. She has someone who loves her, understands her, and sees her for who she truly is behind the facade. Knowing that, I found Olivia and Natalia’s discussion about their feelings very telling after Frank stormed out of the hospital room.

Olivia asking for reassurances about whether or not they will move forward was another one of those vulnerable moments I’m enjoying with the character. The vulnerability, fear, and even stress are evident in Olivia’s facial expression and voice when she’s talking with Natalia on the May 4 episode. When I studied Olivia’s face and reactions, I feel like although she knows Natalia loves her, she’s very unsure of herself and her ability to hold onto Natalia. Having Natalia’s heart is one thing, but I’m sure she’s remembering something I remember when it comes to Natalia. Earlier this year, Olivia had a conversation with a bartender about Natalia, which is where she finally acknowledged (aloud) her attraction to Natalia. When the bartender discovered Natalia was religious, she suggested that Olivia walk away before she gets hurt. Somewhere in the back of her mind, I’m positive Olivia is reliving that conversation. It explains some of Olivia’s hesitation, stress, and behavior when it comes to her relationship with Natalia now. Ultimately, I think Olivia was asking for these assurances before she falls deeper and before drowns totally and irrevocably in Natalia Rivera. However, deep down, Olivia knows it’s too late. Even when Natalia tells her they will figure out how to be together during their getaway, the smile on Olivia’s face was slow, hesitant, and careful. She wants to believe, but she is fearful that the bartender’s words will become reality one day.

Watching Olivia and Natalia make arrangements for their getaway contained a few thrills for me, and it wasn’t  just about the continued flirtatious glances between these two. The writers answered some questions I had as a viewer in addition to questions Olivia and Natalia had for each other about this getaway. Would they have one or two rooms? How would they act around each other when they arrived at their mountain spa retreat? I found it quite enjoyable to watch Olivia’s and then Natalia’s reaction to the question about rooms. Their facial expressions and hesitation definitely showed things aren’t like they use to be. They are looking at everything with fresh eyes now that they have admitted their feelings, and simple questions become complicated questions. As for how they should act, I couldn’t believe that the mighty Olivia Spencer grew flustered at Natalia’s question! I didn’t know Olivia was capable of being flustered, especially over simple (yet complicated) questions. In the end, I agreed with Olivia’s suggestion to do whatever comes naturally. Both Olivia and Natalia have been doing what comes naturally when it comes to touching each other, but I don’t think they’re always conscious that they’re doing it.

As the May 5 episode started with Olivia packing clothes for their spa retreat, I was more than ready to take a trip with Otalia to see where this journey would lead. Olivia’s response to Emma that they couldn’t go back (to the farmhouse) but could try something new was music to my ears. I was optimistic for the spa retreat because I wanted to see if I would get something new with Otalia. Well, I definitely got “something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue” with the May 5 and May 6 episodes.

“Something Old”

I saw the availability of the one room miles away…way before I watched the Guiding Light previews. I figured a one room scenario was a high possibility when I watched the April 27-May 1 episodes. It’s classic soap opera cliché to book two rooms and result in having one room when they arrive; however, I didn’t mind its usage for Otalia. I wanted to see how they would deal with their enforced intimacy now that they’ve acknowledged their feelings. With this couple, I am willing to be a little forgiving because the writers have done a great job of not using every soap opera cliché in the book when writing for Otalia. If anything, the writers have been good about avoiding it.

“Something New”

Forget Olivia and Natalia’s first mutual kiss. I finally got the Otalia love scene I’ve been waiting for! No, I’m not losing my mind. There was a love scene between Olivia and Natalia. You just have to look where I looked to find it. Let me present my observations.

Foreplay – Olivia and Natalia started the foreplay with the hand lotion scene on the May 5 episode. Olivia was definitely aware of Natalia in a sexual way, something that Natalia also felt judging by her quick but telling glance towards Olivia before releasing her hand. The foreplay continued with the flirtatious, loving, and smoldering gazes they directed at each other on the massage chairs.

Intercourse – Near the end of the May 5 episode, the pair started arguing over Natalia’s “one step forward, two steps back” dialog. This of course was prompted by Natalia’s “if we’re a couple” statement that Olivia obviously took exception with judging by her reaction. This argument continued into the beginning of the May 6 episode. Their “frantic” suitcase packing scene on the bed and explosive yelling was a smorgasbord of sexual frustration that had only one outcome.

Climax – Both Olivia and Natalia reached a peak in their yelling when Olivia turned to leave the room with her luggage. Afterward, both Natalia and Olivia seem to stop arguing at the same time. They both realized they were arguing senselessly, mainly due to fear. “Release” is all I have to say about that. I noticed Olivia’s obvious shortness of breath as she tells Natalia that she doesn’t want to argue. I’m glad they got it out of their systems.

This may not have been a traditional love scene by everyone’s standards, but that’s definitely how I saw some aspects of the May 5 and May 6 episodes.

“Something Borrowed”

It seems that the Guiding Light is borrowing from real life again with the, um… “purple blocking” by Blake’s intrusion in Olivia’s and Natalia’s alone time. I nearly died laughing at Olivia’s expression when she was lounging on the massage chair. Blake was oblivious to the fact that she was “purple blocking” Olivia and Natalia. Of course, I immediately knew what was going on, and I felt Olivia knew it too from her facial expressions. She looked like she was seconds away at times from telling Blake where she should go. Once again, I have to give it up to Crystal Chappell because she played that scene out perfectly with her facial expressions. Even though I feel Olivia is more of a sexually experienced character than Natalia, it became evident that Natalia noticed the “purple blocking,” too. The scene between Natalia, Olivia, and Blake was quite comical yet frustrating; however, I enjoyed it immensely.

I can roll with one hysterical instance of “purple blocking” but two? The scene where Emma showed up at the spa resort (tip: sack Jane, Olivia and find another nanny) went into to the unbelievable category for me. While I was laughing at this scene as well, I was laughing for a different reason. Up until now, Jill Lorie Hurst and Ellen Wheeler have been doing a great job telling the Otalia storyline. The “purple blocking” with Emma went overboard and one step past what I could accept, especially after I just finished dealing with Blake doing the same. I felt that Emma’s intrusion was an unneeded torture device for Otalia fans.

“Something Blue”

I noticed that blue must be the “in” color right now. Natalia, Olivia, Blake, and even Emma were wearing something blue on the May 5 and May 6 episodes. For an upcoming preview, I also noticed that Natalia and Olivia are wearing matching blue colors as they pack and get ready to return to Springfield. The visionary aspect of Guiding Light’s usage of so much blue peaked my interest. As a result, I did some digging around and found an interesting reference to the color blue.

Blue in Christianity is associated with the clothing of heavenly figures, most commonly (especially in the Catholic tradition) that of Saint Mary. Ironically, it also has connections with the deadly sin of lust. (Reference: Wikipedia)

I think that explains it all for me. If this was Guiding Light’s intention with the blue colors Natalia and Olivia are wearing, I must say that it was downright brilliant!

While I enjoyed pretty much everything I’d watched in the May 5 episode and most of the May 6 episode, the end of the May 6 episode gave me outright anxiety. The cynical and writer part of my brain went into overdrive. I was so worried by the things Olivia and Natalia were saying to each other that I wrote a special edition post. I felt like the Otalia train had jumped the tracks and was charging towards a collision when I finished the May 6 episode. In a nutshell, I was worried that the Otalia storyline was going to die. Since I wrote that post, I have received several user comments to relieve my fears over May 6th’s Otalia dialog. I have re-watched that episode a few times, and I still feel unsure about Otalia’s future. These are two main reasons why I feel that way:

1. It’s Hard to Have Faith in Soaps Now – Many of commenters have asked me to have faith in Jill Lorie  Hurst and Ellen Wheeler about the Otalia storyline. I have been a soap opera fan all my life, and I have been burned so many times by writers and execs that have destroyed the genre for the past 10 years. I’m not saying that Jill Lorie Hurst or Ellen Wheeler will do that with Otalia because they are doing a great job. However, when I watch soaps I love use to love deteriorate right before my eyes, it’s difficult to have faith in the “powers that be” and writers. I have watched soap execs and head writers insist they’re behind a story line “100%,” but then they switch lanes without any consideration of what the fans want because they don’t care what we want. It is very difficult for me to be optimistic about the soap opera genre now because nearly all soaps are going to hell in hand basket. It’s also very painful to watch soaps go downhill because I have stuck with this genre through the good times, the bad times, and the “great depression” that it’s now become. However, I want to believe in Guiding Light with Otalia. I have the faith of a mustard seed right now. That is better than nothing.

2. I Avoid Spoilers – I have no idea what’s coming up on Guiding Light and with Otalia other than what I see on previews at the end of each episode. I don’t want to know because I like to be surprised. I would not be able to write these Otalia posts the way that I do if I read or knew about spoilers. My reactions have to be genuine and untainted when I watch Guiding Light. I have a very intricate process that I follow when writing these Otalia pieces, which I will explain to everyone in an upcoming post. I know some of the Otalia fans have tried to soothe my fears after the May 6 episode by mentioning spoilers, but I don’t read anything when I see the word “spoiler.” To avoid spoilers in soap opera-related podcasts, I have to stay at least two weeks behind on episodes (to be [a bit] on the safe side). While I could soothe my fears easily by seeking out spoilers, I need to watch Otalia with a blank canvas every day. All I can say is that it’s a writer thing that some of you may not understand.

Despite fears that warranted an Olivia Spencer special of “pancakes and Valium,” I managed to see some light to the Otalia story line in the May 6 episode. Even with the alarming dialog they exchanged sometimes, Otalia’s gazes and touches betray that they are couple, even though they haven’t decided that they are one. The writers also managed to steer Emma’s “purple blocking” appearance at the spa back on course. Watching Olivia, Natalia, and Emma interact like a family reminded me of their time at the farmhouse (particularly the January 2009 episodes).

I also re-analyzed and looked at the May 6 Otalia dialog from another angle. I really think Olivia gave Natalia some food for thought when she said she doesn’t want to play games. Call it instinct, but I feel this was a major statement for Olivia to make. Out of all the relationships she’s had, I really feel like Olivia wants to get this one right more than any other relationship. I could see Natalia churning over Olivia’s words in her mind, and I noticed the expression on Natalia’s face as Olivia’s words sank in. I think Natalia is starting to realize her “one step forward, two steps back” dance over that threshold between friends and romantic partner cannot continue indefinitely. While I felt Olivia has been the most vulnerable one in this journey and the one with the most to lose, the pendulum swung towards Natalia’s direction this week. I felt that Natalia has had the upper hand over the past few weeks when it comes to Olivia, but by the end of the May 6 episode, Olivia reclaimed some of that power. It was a nice shift executed by the writers by giving Olivia just enough power but not too much. My fear was that Olivia would be too dominate over Natalia’s character in this relationship. Fortunately, the writers have been getting it just right. They throttled back Olivia’s dominant nature and allowed Natalia to play this aspect of their relationship beautifully.

While I have been loving everything Guiding Light has been doing with Otalia for weeks, I had to question the logic in showing an Otalia preview for May 7 yet not showing any of the Otalia story line on May 7. Guiding Light…I love you. You are like family to me. Being that we are family, I have to ask, why would you show me a preview for something on May 6 that I won’t see until the week of May 11? I would watch even if there were no Otalia, but please don’t build up my expectations like that. Mmm kay? I’m glad we had this chat.

Returning to a positive note, I must applaud the sensory pleasing usage of colors in the Otalia scenes at the spa. I found the color coordination simply beautiful. As I re-watched the May 5 and May 6 episodes, my eyes would stray from Otalia (as hard as that is to imagine) in order to soak in everything about their surroundings. It felt like Olivia and Natalia were a part of a beautiful floral centerpiece that made me feel happy. It was a very nice effort by the Guiding Light, and I would like for Natalia to give everyone involved a cookie on my behalf. As Natalia said in the January 13, 2009 episode, “You deserve it.”

Note: If you comment and choose to leave a spoiler, please identify it in advance with the word “spoiler,” or even separate it out to alert me that a spoiler is coming. I read everyone’s comments, but if I see the word “spoiler,” I stop reading at that point. Again, I have my process to make the magic happen with these Otalia posts. Thanks everyone for your continued love and support!

Tags: crystal chappell, gay, guiding light, jessica leccia, lesbian, natalia, olivia, otalia, review

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 9th, 2009 at 2:50 pm and is filed under Commentary, In the News, Life, Play, Reviews. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.