Restless Soul
Over the past few months, I have been feeling very antsy about my current career. Initially, I thought it was mainly due to being miserable at my previous company; however, I don’t think that’s the whole story now that I’m happier at my new job. What I realized is that I have been feeling restless about my current career path. While my work is challenging at times, I have been feeling, more and more, that there is something else I could/should be doing with my life.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not as if I hate my career. I do like my work, but I just don’t have the passion I once had for it. This is largely in part to the fact that my previous job sucked any and all joy out of my work. I thought that once I left that chaotic atmosphere, the feeling of satisfaction and love I had for my work would return. Granted, I’ve only been working at at the new company for a few months now, but I just don’t get feel the excitement and drive I once had. It also doesn’t help that I have an itch to do something new and different. I’m just not sure what that something is yet. I haven’t taken the time to deeply examine my desire to change careers.
What I do know is that I would like to do something artistic. I have found that I often express my artistic side in my current work in ways that I am often unaware of. A former supervisor once suggested that I get into web and graphics design as a career, but I nixed that idea. For one, web and graphic designers are a dime a dozen. It’s a crowded market, and there are way more talented people out there who can do a better job than I can. That’s just being real and honest. Besides, my current approach to web and graphics design is to do so at my own leisure. There was a time when I lived and breathed web and graphics design, but I quickly burned myself out as well as my love for doing it. Additionally, I like to design things how I like and not how someone tells me. Creative freedom and expression is extremely important to me, and I know I don’t like someone else having control over how I design things. And that’s the heart of the matter for me: creative freed and expression.
I have had my creative freedom and expression on some projects stamped out and reigned in by suits. You know what I’m referring to: the management types who’s only understanding of creativity is the cost to the company. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I do not like having my creative freedom and expression harnessed by some corporate suit. That’s why I’m excited about the things you can do on the web in terms of podcasting, vidcasting, and blogging. You control your own content and distribute it through the masses without some suit telling you how the creative process should be. I know I thrive in an environment where I can be free to be who I am without any holds barred. What I do know is that this is the kind of career path I would like to go into. I just don’t have a clear road map of how to get there yet.
I am clearly at a crossroad, and I have to figure out which route to take. Deep down inside, I have been thinking about my interests, the things that I’m passionate about, and how I can make a living doing what I love. I am still pursuing one of those interests but not as aggressively as I should. I think it’s time to step up the campaign on that front; however, I am realistic enough to know that I may not be able make a good living pursuing that one interest. This is why I’m also thinking about what else I can do to express the other ideas I have and implement them with the ultimate goal of making a living that way. I am not the “work for someone else for the rest of your life” type. I never have been and it’s why I will never be truly at peace with myself until I am independent and the “boss” of my own operation. It’s a goal that I continue to work towards that will hopefully come to fruition soon.